Thursday, May 15, 2008

Feeling helpless and overwhelmed

I spent most of yesterday feeling out of sorts. I want to do something, anything, to start the process. I am still waiting to find out if my hubby's employer offers any adoption assistance. That would make such a difference in getting started, and then maybe I could relax a little.

I wonder if I am nuts to start this process now. It is interesting to note that we seem to make huge changes in our lives every summer. My husband and I are both professional musicians, and summers are very tough financially, but that hasn't stopped us from moving each summer since we met 4 years ago.  We thought that we broke the cycle when we closed on our 1st home at the end of March (yes, 2 mths. ago:)!), but no-o-o-o-o. Here we are with a brand new mortgage and loads left to do (buying furniture, painting white walls etc...) and now we decide to adopt. He is teaching now with an 11 month contract, but guess what month he doesn't get paid...July!!! Smack dab in the middle of summer when my big money gigs are nowhere in sight!

Of course, one might think we could wait, but that is not up to me. I feel like we are not meant to wait. I am praying and trying very hard to be still let God lead me in this. I know He will. So while I am chomping at the bit to get going and hold my baby in my arms, I know that His timing is perfect. In my heart I know it will all work out, and if the urgency I feel is not of Him, it will go away.

In the meantime, please bear with me.


Wife to the Rockstar said...

Welcome to the roller coaster that is ADOPTION. It is a CRAZY wild ride. You won't ever regret it!!

Salzwedel Family said...

Let me tell you it made no financial sense for us to start this adoption, but we did anyway. God had been prodding us along so we dove in & prayed for a miracle. It's full of ups & downs, but the people you will "meet" are amazing & supportive. We all know where you are coming from.