Thursday, October 30, 2008

My babies...

aren't really babies anymore. Tonight Tauri and Jaden played in another piano recital. It was great. There were about 15 kids in all, and pride was just overflowing in the room. Parents were just beaming! I was proud of kids I didn't even know. They were all just so cute. 

Our family had a nice little turn out. Two grandmothers and even Tauri's dad travelled a distance to be there. It was short, sweet and lots of fun. Jaden played a wonderful duet with his daddy, and Tauri continues to surpass our expectations (she's only been playing for 10 months, and you would never guess). As you can see I am not biased.:) 

Seriously, I am very proud of my babies. They are 2 of the best things to ever happen to me! 

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's official!

I sent off my adoption application and fee this morning, first thing.

I have had that application filled out for months.:)

Dropping that packet in the mail brought up all kinds of feelings. I feel different already. I actually started thinking about nursery ideas. That is new. Pray that I don't make my husband crazy while I try to stay sane. Here we go!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Look how God works!

Yesterday I sent an email to the owner of the adoption agency we want to use to tell her I was sending in the application and to check on payment options. She and I have kept in touch through emails and phone calls. She knew I was waiting on money.

Today I get an email from her, saying that she had been holding a spot for me because she knew I was planning to get started pretty soon, and that she was putting all new applicants on a waiting list.

Wow! Her agency is fairly new and evidently she has had a flood of families wanting to adopt since we first connected, so good for adoption, and good for her!

My point is, I can't imagine how hurt I would have been if, now that I can finally get started and after all I went through to find her agency, I had to be put on a waiting list. It would have been a huge blow. One that I certainly would have recovered from, but still.

For me, this is just more confirmation. She is a sweet lady, that I feel connected to, who didn't have to hold a spot for me. God is AWESOME, and He is making a way out of no way. I am not worrying about the homestudy fee because I know it is coming one way or another.

I can't wait to see what God will do next!!!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

I have been TAGGED!!

Ok, now I am a real blogger. I was tagged by Melissa. I have to apologize to her because I knew I got tagged, but I wasn't sure what to do next, so between being blog-challenged and busy, it has been a while since she tagged me.

I hope I do it right. Here goes...
(Melissa has a really cool "tagged" badge that should go right here and has tagged directions on it, but I told you I am blog-challenged):(

1. In high school my nickname was Pinkee. I wore pink EVERY day. By  the end of senior year I was over it, but still did it because I got a lot of flack when I didn't.

2. I was Miss Black Florida 1987-1988. If I told you how low-budget the pageant was you would not be impressed.

3. I am a total gadget geek. I always want the newest gadget, and can be borderline obsessive about it until and after I get it.

4. I once travelled to Morrocco to sing for the Crown Prince. I was 3 months pregnant with my daughter (14 years ago). It was beautiful there (where we stayed) and I rode a camel for the 1st and so far only time. Maybe I will post pics of that. It was pretty funny.

5. I am not ticklish. I was as a child, but somewhere around puberty it went away. Now tickling me just annoys me.

6. When I was growing up I loved to watch old musicals, well musicals period, on television. I was so sure I could do what they did, that it hurt. I would actually cry because I wanted to be in those musicals so badly. That lasted into my teens.

7. I am terribly, terribly shy and self-conscious. I spend much of my life pushng past that, and over-analyzing myself, my words, actions, and even my thoughts. People tend to find that hard to believe because I am an entertainer, but it's true.

Tagging back is a bit of a challenge. All the bloggers I know probably get tagged all the time. If that is the case, I apologize in advance.

(not as payback:)), and any willing participant. 

Sunday, October 26, 2008

And the blessings continue to flow

So blessed, yet so tired.:) I couldn't go to sleep without posting. 

It is such a blessing to have such sincere cheerleaders, and support from those who are or have been there. Such a blessing to know people care and share my ups and downs. Such a blessing to be proven right in my belief that the world is full of good people that actually reach out to others. Such a blessing that friends and those you don't even know will contribute to my dream with no expectation other than me doing my part to make that dream come true. Such a blessing that God is SO awesome, and that each of those blessings are of Him.

I continue to be moved by this experience, and it becomes bigger and better all the time. 

Saturday, October 25, 2008


So, Last night I sat up in bed just before dozing off to write a post. I poured my heart out in detail regarding something that was on my heart. Then I tried to publish the post and my blankity blank internet provider lost connection and it was sent into cyberspace never to be heard from again. The same thing happened with my previous post, but it was short so I re-wrote that one.

Unfortunately, this post was pretty long and of the moment, so this time I will write the slightly abbreviated version.

My "Wow" title is in reference to how God works.

On Thursday night my hubby and I were discussing where we both stood on our plans for adoption. In short, he often struggles with stepping out on faith, especially when it comes to money matters. Since money is our main, if not only, road block to adoption, all of his misgivings stemmed from there. He said he would be fully on board once we have the money, until then he has one foot on and one off.

My argument is that if we are of one accord, and fully committed in our hearts and minds, God will provide. We can't be halfway believers and dreamers. We can't offer up halfway prayers, etc...(cuz you know I had much to say:)). Ultimately he saw my point, and assured me that he wants this to happen as much as I do.

On Friday, we received a donation of $2oo from our dear friends who would have liked to remain anonymous. This was completely out of the blue and literally brought me to tears. I won't embarrass them by gushing the way I tend to do when speaking of them, but I hope they know what a true blessing they have been in our lives ever since we met them almost a year and a half ago. To God be the glory and they would have it no other way. Still I thank you.

I am pretty certain that no one reading this sees the donation as a small thing, but there is a reason that I even mentioned the amount donated.

Due to financial circumstances, every penny we make has been going to catching up on bills and such, so even the application fee has been beyond our means. I have been praying to be able to make an official start to this adoption. The app fee is $250. Last week I checked my adoption fund account and discovered there was $54 in it from donations we received back in June/July when I started this blog( I hadn't realized). I knew we still had a way to go. My sweet friends don't know this, but their donation will allow us to make our first OFFICIAL step on our adoption journey!!!Praise God!

It is actually fitting, because they are the ones who re-awakened the desire to adopt in my heart and make me see it as a real, doable option for my family.

God is good all the time. I have read and heard time and time again about how many families had no idea how they would pay for their adoptions, but took that leap of faith. We took ours and now here we go!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

What is going on?

I actually posted the other night, but the internet was not my friend, so it is somewhere out in cyberspace.

It basically was about how remiss I have been in not mentioning that 3 important people in my life, my family are currently being treated for cancer. My aunt, my uncle, and my sister-in-law's stepfather are all doing well, as they go through their various treatments, but they and our entire family could certainly use your prayers.

It is disturbing, to say the least, that 3 of my family members have been diagnosed with this disease all in the same year. It makes me wonder what is going on? My family is very close, and that is such a blessing. Prayer and love are so powerful, there is a certain peace among us that everything will be okay.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Feeling better

So, no miracle pregnancy. It is cool though. It is better than wondering "could it be?"

Today was a hectic, but a good day. I am exhausted, and I still have a lot on my mind, but the fog seems to be clearing. My attitude is brightening. 

Now maybe I can re-focus on finding a way to get this adoption going at full speed. 

Good for me.:)

Monday, October 13, 2008

Rainy days and Mondays

I am not going to let the blues win. This too shall pass. The worst thing is today I can't quite put my finger on why I am so weepy. 

Yesterday, I could have all too easily made a list. Today is a little different. 

Now that I come to think of it, something did trigger this wallowing. 

My body is playing tricks on me!!!

I have fertility issues, so medically I can't get pregnant without medical intervention, BUT I serve an AWESOME God, so anything is possible. In my head I know I can't be pregnant, but in my heart...

I still long for a baby with eyes like my handsome husband. I long to give him the gift of seeing himself in a little person the way I do when I look at Tauri and Jaden. 

I n the midst of all that, I am longing for my baby out there waiting for us to find each other.

Today, I am sad that I don't have a way to fill any of the baby emptiness that I am keenly reminded of because my dagnab period is late!!!!! I miss the baby I don't even have yet!!!! I want them BOTH!!

I don't think the pain of infertility ever completely goes away, but I think I have been quite the trooper throughout this journey, and it just pisses me off when I give in to the blues.

I know with all my heart that God works everything out for good, and His will is PERFECT. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

I am thankful for my sweet husband, my beautiful kids, my wonderful home, my new church home that I absolutely love, my family near and far, my friends old and new (the family I chose), thankful for the gifts, talents, and abundant blessings the Lord has bestowed and continues to bestow on me, right down to the fact that He woke me up this morning and gave me the ability, and faculties to write this pitiful, whiny post. I am blessed!! Thank You, Father!!!

There! I feel better already. 

Blogging is good for me. You all who read and post on my page are good for me. Thanks for caring. It really counts.


Friday, October 10, 2008

Starting to slack

I am just exercising my blogging muscles here. 

Lately things don't seem to be going so well on the whole, but at the same time I am so blessed. I just haven't felt right posting about the things that are so heavy on my mind, and ultimately sounding like a complainer. Soooo, I am keeping up with everyone's happenings while laying low.

Anyhoo, I didn't want to get out of the blogging habit as I wait for my cloud of blues to clear.
That's all. So please excuse the superfluous post.:) Later dayz!

Monday, October 6, 2008

I was going to post, but...

when I went to catch up on the blogs I follow, I came across my absolute favorite post of the day! If you haven't already, PLEASE check out my fabulous friend, Wife to the Rockstar's post When Dorks Unite. I am at work cracking up.