Monday, December 29, 2008

I haven't been posting because I don't have much to say or report. We are eagerly waiting for "the call". I am fairly calm, but I am not sleeping well. I am exhausted and excited. 

The baby is due in 9 days! He may go to term. Still it is hard to think that way, since my 1st 2 came 2 weeks and 1 week early respectively. 

We have an infant seat (thanks to my brother and sister-in-law:)), and the basics, so in effect we are ready. I have not heard a word from the agency or the lawyer, so I assume all is well and we are just waiting for nature to take it's course.

On another note, today is my wonderful husband's birthday!!!! That man makes me immeasurably happy. I just want to wish him the best birthday yet, and tell him I love him more every day. Happy birthday, my love!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

An amazing day!!!

I am thrilled and exhausted!!! Thank you for all of the prayers for this day and our whole journey to date. 

We met our birthmother today and it was wonderful!! She is smart, and pretty, and funny, and upfront. We spent an hour and a half with her. She invited me in for her appointment and I got to hear the baby's heartbeat. 

We took some pictures together. It was a little hard to say goodbye. She wants a completely closed adoption, so this may be the only time we ever get. I didn't know I would care.

She says she is completely at peace and sure about her decision to place and to place with us. She got to see that our profile was a real representation of who we are. 

If she does place with us, she will forever be in my heart. I will always pray for her.

We are almost finished with our homestudy. Good thing, since he is due in 15 days. This is not her first child and she says all of her children have come exactly on the due date. She is ready now though. Wouldn't that be crazy if that happened again for her??? Not to mention, he is due on her birthday. Bittersweet, don't you think?

We talked about a lot of things. I wanted to know her interests and hobbies. She was very open. Of course, things were a little weird, but considering the circumstances, I could not have asked for a better meeting. God is good. 

It was a long exhausting day, and Dale is already passed out. I am next, but I couldn't go to sleep without telling my blog fam what happened today. We only got home about 20 minutes ago, because we raced home to rehearse with the worship team for Christmas Eve services. 

In case I don't get to my computer tomorrow, have a blessed, wonderful Christmas!!!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Tuesday seems very far away

Well, we are nesting...somewhat. If it weren't for other obligations, all I would be doing is nesting. 

I have to say once again, how grateful I am to everyone who has reached out to us. That includes words of encouragement, prayers, donations, and support. I count it all love. I know it is all God.

I spoke the lawyer who is responsible for this adoption situation and got a lot more information. She speaks very highly of the birthmother. She described her as a smart, beautiful, easy to like woman, who has had a hard life. 

Everyone please pray for her, as she prepares to give birth. It is highly unlikely that she will decide to parent, given circumstances I know about, but understandably won't share here. Still, for her sake and for the sake of this baby boy, I ask that you pray for her life circumstances to improve, and her health and happiness now and in the future. Of course, I ask that you pray for the safe, healthy delivery of the baby. 

In the meantime, we are eagerly anticipating our meeting on Tuesday and the baby's imminent arrival. According the lawyer and our agency director, the birthmother wants out of the hospital asap after giving birth. Evidently TPR can be signed and effective as early as the birthmother is discharged. At least that is what the lawyer said. If things go that way, we would take custody of the baby sooner. The lawyer and I have our own opinions about her leaving without seeing or spending time with him, but it is not our call.:( I just don't want him to be alone. 

I almost feel pregnant. My very close friend keeps teasing me, saying that I am. I am an emotional wreck. I think I have cried multiple times a day, every day this week. Between being matched, getting prepared, and receiving all that I have from you all, I am raw with emotion.

Not to mention, I have been exhausted every day from the mid-afternoon until I finally fall asleep at night. I say that to say, that I could certainly go on, but I am down for the count. I just wanted to touch base with my wonderful blog family.:) Good night and God bless.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

More info as promised.

Last night I barely had time to post about our amazing news. Here is a little more info. 

Our birthmother wants to meet us! Evidently she loved our profile. She has invited us to any of her next doctor appointments. Considering the fact that she is due in just 3 weeks we are planning to go to her appointment scheduled for this coming Tuesday. She is only about 2 and a half hours away!!! That is a huge plus. I am very nervous and have no idea how the meeting will go or what to expect. Of course we will be ourselves, but any insight, suggestions, or advice is welcome.

On a side note, I just this minute told my 13 year old, T, about being chosen and my laid back, unemotional baby girl actually cried a few tears of joy. So sweet and unexpected.:) We haven't told our 6 year old, J, yet. I got a great idea, from a wonderful friend, how to tell him. I am going to buy him a big brother book and shirt and give it to him as an early Christmas present. I can't wait to see his reaction.

 Our home study visit is Monday. We are preparing as if he could come any day, since of course he could!!! This next week promises to be a whirlwind of preparations. I will keep you all updated.

I am sure I am leaving something out. It is still sinking in that I could be a new mommy again in weeks. WOW!! Please keep praying.

Thank you doesn't even come close!!!

I have no doubt about what God can do, yet it is still amazing to watch Him work!!!

My heart is laid wide open. This morning as I began to check my email, I noticed an influx of donations to our adoption fund. Immediately I knew God was moving and that I had to check up on Wife to the Rockstar's blog. Just as I thought, she had posted about us. 

I am a strong believer in the inherent goodness of people, but I cried...sobbed as the outpouring of support(emotional and financial), encouragement, blessings and love poured out over me and my family. I have had some truly amazing experiences in my life, and this adoption journey ranks up there among the best of them. 

I want to thank each of you for reaching out and making dreams come true. Every bit counts big time. You will never know how you have not only helped us financially and emotionally, but touched me to my very core. I can't seem to stop tearing up. If I could give every one of you a gigantic hug, I absolutely would. If I have not thanked you via email, please forgive me. I think I connected to everyone except 1 (the email keeps being returned).

Courtney, I know you give all the glory to God, but I have to say you are truly one of His greatest gifts to me, with a heart beyond measure!

I am truly blessed by my family, and close friends who are nothing but prayerful, supportive and thrilled for us. They all know who they are and how very much I love them.

Again, though words don't cover it, THANK YOU!! God bless you. God is so good!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Praise God!! We got the call less than an hour ago. I have been on the phone since then telling family and a few friends, trying to digest it all. My husband did a cartwheel!!!:)

We were just spending our last 15 minutes before we had to leave for work when we got the call. How am I supposed to focus on singing tonight?! I can barely focus on writing this post. 

We are obviously thrilled. I happen to have a praying family, and I know God is in control, so I know everything is going to work out just as it should. Still, I ask that you, my blogworld family, please continue to PRAY! 

I will tell you more soon. Gotta go to work and make that money!!!:)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Much calmer

Today is the day my profile was supposed to be presented. I didn't really expect to hear anything one way or the other, and I didn't. Surprisingly, I feel fine about that. It was harder waiting for Monday to arrive. 

I also got the sweetest gift from a dear friend. A baby sling and some onesies! They are adorable, and so is my friend. Thank you, C!!! 

We also finally decorated our Christmas tree. I think it came out great. We had fun doing it.

I am feeling peaceful, hopeful and content tonight. That is God at work. I am eagerly awaiting good news, and I believe I am prepared for disappointing news. I pray this feeling lasts.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Trying not to obsess

I think I am doing okay. I got a little more info on the situation we will be presented for. I rushed around and got our adoption profile printed and bound (it came out great, if I do say so myself!:)) and yesterday I overnighted it to the agency director. I am spending way too much time on the internet again. Our profile will be shown on Monday. That feels like an eternity away! 

Our homestudy visit is tentatively scheduled for next Friday or Saturday. I am a notch below freak-out mode. As usual, Dale is completely calm. He freaks out over little things and I do over the big stuff. It was the same way when we were trying to buy this house. It makes me crazy, but I suppose that balance is a big part of what makes us work, what makes us a great team. Sao I want to shake him and kiss him at the same time!!!:) 

I have been running around trying to finish up all of the necessary paperwork for the homestudy, and staying on top of him to finish up the things I can't do for him. The light at the end of the tunnel (besides a new angel baby:)) is that no matter what happens on Monday, our part of the homestudy should be done after next weekend! YAY! Too stressful. I just want to focus on bringing my baby home.

Those of you who shared your faith stories and left encouraging comments, thank you SO much. EVERY positive word and thought helps. I would love more of what you got!!!

Well, I am off to more running around. ;) Blessings.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

We are going for it!!!

I am walking around in a daze. We very well could have our baby home in about a month. We decided to go for it. I have so much to do, but my mind hasn't processed everything yet.We have to hurry up our homestudy process, and get everything ready for a bundle of joy!!! Part of me is hesitant to behave as though this is really going to happen, but I know God is faithful. Of course now I want THIS baby, but no matter what happens the baby God intends for our family will be coming home soon.

I am in a strange place. I am a little scared, and a lot excited. I am trying to guard my heart enough that I won't be so devastated if this is not the baby meant for us, but at the same time I want to allow my self to be as in love with this little guy as I was when my other two babies were born. 

My husband is excited, and that just melts me. I wish I could tell the kids, but I know my youngest would be heartbroken if he knew about the baby and then we couldn't bring him home for some reason. Though she might never admit it, so would my oldest. Please continue to keep us in prayer. 

My home study should be completed by the 1st week in January. That is cutting it close, so please pray that our baby will not be born early because that might mean he would need interim care. I know it would not be the worst thing, but we pray that he will come to us from his birthmother's arms to ours. 

Monday, December 8, 2008

Lots of BIG news!!!

In typical fashion, I have been missing in action for weeks and return having way too much information to share. I will just touch on the basics in this post. 

Thanksgiving was wonderful! I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for the first time. This is our first house, and I made my first turkey!!! It was a hit. We had over 50 people come. It was a true blessing. Of  course my entire immediate family was there. Plus all of my 7 aunts, all but 3 1st cousins, their families etc... It was amazing. God is good!

Then on Friday the cold I had been fighting since the day before Thanksgiving scored a knock-out. I was down for the count. I got some antibiotics and finally felt human again by Wed. night.

On this past Saturday, my new band had it's very first job. It was a huge star-studded event. In spite of numerous glitches in our 12 hour day for an hour and a half performance, we were a hit!! We pray that this is only the beginning. 3 of those 12 hour days a month would afford us the luxury of having to do nothing else for a living but maintain the band. I am all for that!!!:)

Then yesterday, my fabulously talented husband conducted his very first symphony concert! He was amazing! I also sang a song with said symphony, which was a first for me. Mind you, we got home from our Saturday night gig at 4:30am. Up again at 9am. The concert was at 3pm. Big fun. LOL. Seriously though it was exciting. My husband still manages to impress me. Wow!

Finally, today I got a call from the adoption agency asking if we would be interested in a situation. The baby is due January 8th!!! The fees would be a little higher than we had originally discussed because it is an outside situation. She is double-checking but we would need to come up with $6,000-7,000 not necessarily by placement. I thought my husband would shoot it down outright, but he got excited. He said as of now he thinks the answer will be yes, but he wants to pray about it first. That is exactly what I want him to do. That is exactly what I have been doing all day. 

I would love to hear or even re-hear your stories of stepping out on faith. If this situation works out, that is exactly what we would being doing, since I think most of you know we don't have $6,000. 

Of note, is that I have prayed to have our baby home before Jaden turns 7 years old. His 7th birthday is in early Feb. I also thought for sure that my sweet hubby would not even consider the idea, because of money and how soon the baby is due. Interesting reaction on his part. :). Please pray that we make sound, divinely led decisions for our family. If this is the baby for us I know in my heart God will make that clear.