There is no news on the baby today. I still need to post, for my own sake. Thank you for all of the loving comments and prayers during this wait.
I think a good cry will do me good. All is well but I am so emotional. I feel as though my heart is split into 3 parts waiting to be whole again. I am away with my amazing husband at his conference, my 2 children are at home with my wonderful mother, and my soon-to be son is overdue. I am feeling a little heartsick. I miss my kids sooooo much. Hearing how much my baby boy misses me tonight kind of sent me over the edge. I haven't had a full out cry, but I haven't really stopped crying since the phone call. If labor hasn't started by tomorrow, we will head home. I can't wait to hold T and J in my arms, but I will be leaving without our new son. I know everything will be as it should be and in God's time, but the day the 3 parts of my heart are 1 again is something I look forward to.
On a happier note, we got to go to dinner with good friends of ours that we haven't seen in ages. The have a beautiful 3 month old daughter we finally got to meet. It was nice, but too short.
Also, in the midst of all of the preparation for our new addition, it was a little to easy to put the idea of how we are going to pay for all of this on the back burner. Funny, huh? Once again, I would like to thank every single one of you who donated to our adoption fund. Biiiiiiiiig blog hugs go out to you all!!:)
That brings me to another point. Today I was reminded of the humility that this adoption journey has taught me. If it weren't for the fabulous Wife to the Rockstar,my pride would have never let me put a donation button up on this blog. When I am able, I happily, gladly give to others, but asking for and accepting help is a tough one for me. I could give lots of reasons, but ultimately it all comes back to pride. God is still working on me.
One of my dearest friends made a very generous donation to our adoption fund today. When I received notification, I got teary, 1) because it was from her, 2) because it was very generous, and 3) because boy do we NEED it!:) Then I felt weird. Now this is a woman, I would give my last to, give the shirt off of my back, open my home to, but there I was feeling funny about her doing the very thing I would do for her if the tables were turned. She knows it and I know it. I say all that to say, I shook off that funny feeling. I said a prayer of thanks. Thanks for her in my life, for the donation, and for the humility that God is surely trying to instill in me. Then I thanked her, and of course as fabulous as she is, she only wished she could do more, and told me how happy she is for us. I love you, girl!!!
This journey is profound. I am learning more about myself and life and God along the way. Every tear, smile and prayer will forever be etched in my soul.